Moonlight cast its perfumed spell, beloved,
Down on me – and you as well, beloved.
Unworthy, I beheld you, veiled; but O
The heavens parted, and I fell, beloved.
I would sweep across the desert rampart
To your side, this thirst to quell, beloved.
I would bind myself to sanctuary
In your arms, embrace this cell, beloved.
God sever this cursed tongue and stitch these lips,
Should I ever say farewell, beloved.
But if that God should turn his back on you –
I would be your infidel, beloved.
For all my soul desires is to be yours,
Your supplicant, your Samuel, beloved.
A seven-couplet ghazal in pentameter. I call this form a ghazal sonnet.
ReplyDeletethe beloved is totally yes yes I feel the spell with you
ReplyDelete(I must try this seductive gjazal sonnet)
much tenderness and a great atmosphere in this...the ghazal form works really well...a shame that i'm going to miss it..sigh..
ReplyDeleteThis is beautful Sam. To be truly loved like that is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteHad to look up the ghazal form - another one in my list of forms to try, should I ever have the right idea for the form.
wow this is a powerful love poem, yet tender as well....if god would turn his back i would become infidel to be yours...that is powerful stuff man....
ReplyDeletei have my work cut out for me on this as well...you set the bar high...
Deletethis was fun sir...you will forgive me for what i have done to your form...smiles.
Deletedo like this form... the repeated word not over-worked... so much passion in every line... great job
ReplyDeletebeautifully lyrical, and yes tender.
ReplyDeleteso beautiful - the infidel line is just stunning -K
ReplyDeleteOh, how beautifully you have realised the form!
ReplyDelete.."But if that God should turn his back on you –
ReplyDeleteI would be your infidel, beloved."
Especially loved these two lines.
What a beautiful, heartfelt love song. Wow...just wow! Well penned, Samuel.
Beautiful poem!
ReplyDeleteVery nice, well versed poem.
ReplyDeleteDear, supple, old fashioned, romantic..for Valentine's Day? I will have to try my hand at the form.
ReplyDeleteGod sever this cursed tongue and stitch these lips,
ReplyDeleteShould I ever say farewell, beloved.
This is a tall order! Putting a stand on love! This is great Sam! Lovely new form to me. Will try sometime later!
Hank
Whatever the form, which obviously you had fun with, I hear your message loud and clear...beautiful!
ReplyDeleteDeeply satisfying use of language and form.. there's an inevitability built upon repetition that secures the message beautifully.
ReplyDeleteYou present a powerful, waving rhythm that supports the sincerity of your voice. Quite beautiful!
ReplyDeleteTender, yet almost violent passion, ecstatic in the original sense of the word. May we all experience such love!
ReplyDeleteReally beautiful, a lovely use of form.... Fabulous music in this one.
ReplyDeletestunning. you weaved a lovely spell here. I like not only the repetition of beloved, but the rhyme (ell) which directly proceeds it.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition is particularly effective, bringing the reader back to ponder the recipient of this affection. The genuine emotion in each stanza's first line is clear, palpable. Lovely!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/01/27/empowered/
Nice job, sir; supplication has never been more tender, more heartfelt. Somehow you used the ghazal form masterfully without losing the 21st century omniscience & gravitas. Like Brian, I find my own mired in today, unwilling to span the poetic centuries.
ReplyDeleteBrutally tough form, but you produced a tender and sweet poem with it.
ReplyDeleteYour choice of content and the wording are all in tune with the form and the time when it first occurred.
ReplyDeleteThis flows so beautifully, Samuel, and is an intriguing form. I am also stoked to see all of your books on the sidebar - way to go!
ReplyDeleteReally liked this form. Beautiful work. Thanks for introducing it to me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough form, thanks for showing us how its done ~
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely specially these lines:
God sever this cursed tongue and stitch these lips,
Should I ever say farewell, beloved.
But if that God should turn his back on you –
I would be your infidel, beloved.
Lovely poem, and conforms to the rules--which is no easy task. Thanks for the challenge.
ReplyDeleteI think your poem beautifully reflects the era when the ghazal was first being fashioned. I love the old world feel that it has and the sharp, romantic devotion that is played out within it.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful, Sam... a hard act to follow!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful - you have inspired me to try this form - I feel you have captured the essence of the form perfectly ... the inexpressible is there between your words ... I love how you play with the word beloved
ReplyDeleteThe rudiments of a lovelorn heart are indeed timeless. Beautiful verse.
ReplyDeleteGene
Samuel, This is a wonderful ghazal! I love the word "beloved." Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and suits the form.
ReplyDeleteWell, you've adopted a very Ghazally voice and tone for sure and it works. You know, once, many years ago, I went to a performance of ghazals in India - everything was in Urdu, I think - and the lines were very long as there are extended runs - but I imagine there is a very similar kind of love expressed - a kind of Sufi-ish chivalry - I love the turns you make on devotion here--so that being in the arms of the beloved are the monk's cell - and the heavens parting like the veil - super clever. Many of these wonderful touches. k.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece. The form is so open to exploring beauty and all it inspires. Such an excellent Ghazal Sam, just love this.
ReplyDeleteI would bind myself to sanctuary
In your arms, embrace this cell, beloved.
What a great couplet. Thanks for sharing this and hosting the Ghazal this week.
As Mary cast her perfumed spell on her beloved,
ReplyDeleteYour Ghazal reminded me of her torment and pleasure.
Your willingness to be an infidel is beautifully pure.
Rumi would approve, I'm sure.
Superbly done, Samuel.
you make it look easy =) great prompt and poem
ReplyDeleteSaid it before, but I'll say it - this is beautiful; a masterpiece. The apparent ease of your use of this form is, I'm sure, misleading but that is the sign of a great craftsman - to make the difficult appear simple.
ReplyDeleteSamuel, so loved this exercise. Thanks for the challenge and thrill. In reading other post.... well, it was like we all grew up a little.
ReplyDeleteLovely and so poetic Sam! Okay, I wrote one last night and will publish it very soon. I love the background to your blog. And I read you are a physicist....a thinker, no doubt.
ReplyDeletei enjoyed writing the ghazal.. writing it in English after listening to ghazals in Hindi/Urdu was a little tough but I tried to keep true to the form,
ReplyDeleteloved the ghazal you wrote
it doesn't really work when you feel unworthy and feel like a supplicant, well, maybe there are people who look for someone like that, but it's soooooo dysfunctional. i hope this is not how you really see yourself.
ReplyDeleteprima donna cat fight
Ghazal tradition is to parallel earthly with mystical love, which is why the verses can tilt towards thoughts of worthiness, supplication and on.
DeleteMy favorite ghazal of all time! why oh why could not I have written the infidel line???
ReplyDeleteOh my, Sam. I'm just breathless. This is so perfectly, rendered. Makes me want to try another Ghazal...sometime.
ReplyDeleteI've read this one before - but it works so very well. The rhymes so subtle and it really does have the feel of tradition behind it, but in a lovely, not overly-precious way. k.
ReplyDeletewhen i didn't find the link, just thought i check if i find your sedoka.. enjoyed the re-read of this one instead.. thanks for tending the sedoka bar and quite a lot of people took the challenge...really cool...thanks sam
ReplyDeletethis is musical! I missed the link to the sedoka and could not find your link too for your tend at the bar. Have tried my hands though by taking a cue from the theme of the weekend from the bar. Will be happy to hear from you.
ReplyDeletehttp://randomlynovel.blogspot.in/2013/06/a-wish.html
Love the repetition. It's hypnotic and lulls the reader into a kind of lullaby Sam. Another beautiful composition sir.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful and powerful love poem!
ReplyDeleteOh my. Move over, Rumi!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I found the Thomas poem, right after your first comment. I need to get a collection of his work. Amazing poet. Thanks, Sam.
Gorgeous!
ReplyDelete