Pon De Replay


All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin’ some more what
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up

It goes 1 by 1 even 2 by 2
Everybody on the floor
Let me show you how we do

        Hey Mr.
        Please Mr. DJ


#Play

Because
Because

Because when the sun shines, they’ll shine together
Because he told her he’d be here forever
Because he said he’d always be her friend
Because he took an oath he’d stick it out to the end

And now that it’s raining more than ever
She knows that they still have each other
She can stand under his umbrella

Ella
Under his
Umbrella

#Rewind

Subject was driving a vehicle with Jane Doe as the front passenger.
Jane Doe turned the radio on and switched the station from where it was.
Subject complained about the change and Jane Doe turned the music up.
A verbal argument ensued.

Subject pulled over and attempted to force Jane Doe out of the vehicle.
Subject was unable to force her out because she was wearing a seat belt.
Subject shoved Jane Doe’s head against the passenger window of the vehicle
Causing a one-inch raised circular contusion.

Subject then punched Jane Doe in the left eye with his right hand.
Subject started the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face.
Jane Doe’s mouth filled with blood and blood spattered
All over her clothing and all over the interior of the vehicle.

        Hey Mr.
        Please Mr. DJ


Jane Doe opened the passenger window in an attempt to call for help.
Subject pulled her closer and continued to punch her. Jane Doe
Interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows
Forward to protect her face.

Jane Doe then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face
Near her lap to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches
Being levied upon her by Subject, who continued to punch Jane Doe
On her left arm and hand.

This caused a contusion on her arm approximately two inches in diameter
And numerous contusions on her hand. Subject placed Jane Doe
In a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle
With his left hand.

        Hey Mr.
        Please Mr. DJ


Subject stopped the car and pulled Jane Doe close to him and bit her
On her left ear. Jane Doe turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition
And threw it out the passenger window. Subject began punching her
In the face and arms.

Subject placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat
Between his bicep and forearm. Subject began applying pressure
To Jane Doe’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her
To be unable to breathe.

She began to lose consciousness. With her left hand Jane Doe reached up
And pressed the horn of the car. Subject bit her left ring and middle fingers.
Jane Doe began screaming for help and Subject exited the vehicle
And walked away.

#Forward

        Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay
        Come Mr. DJ won’t you turn the music up


#Replay


33 comments:

  1. Short link - http://bit.ly/s4pondereplay

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  2. holy crap sam...vicious write...ugh...great story telling and blend of the music as well...so disturbing and sadly real...shivers...ugh...

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  3. While researching this poem, I came across statistics that said domestic abuse survivors leave their partner an average of 7-8 times before they can break the cycle. Sadly, returning to an abuser - replaying everything - is not unusual, for many reasons.

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  4. Whew...what images (and horror) you wrote here...nice play of tale and music and sadly the reality of things going all wrong ~

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, yes, the situation in the poem is all too real.

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  5. Powerfully and graphically written. Whew!

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    Replies
    1. It was the song title where it first hit me, the word "Replay", which led to the whole poem.

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  6. An ugly truth handled with a creative flair and style unmatched. These are the things we hate to hear and see....but these are the things we need to hear and see. You handled the content and then message deftly my friend. Hard core writing.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry that this comment is in an odd place--it is the computer I am using--Hard-hitting write, deftly done--but oh it hurts to read it.

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    2. Before I hit on using "Pon De Replay" and a rewind-play-replay for the structure, it was going to be a long litany on "Why Women Return", with the word "Because" in front of each reason. That was a very painful draft.

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  7. Blood chilling and terrifyingly all-too-real. The police report style conveys more of horror than a million adjectives. Appalling look into the heart of darkness. Fine fine poem, Sam.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I find that horror can be achieved with a matter-of-fact style. The police report also sets off the balladic first part, making it even more of a wishful fantasy.

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  8. And she is going to walk right back, give him another chance, because we all know we make mistakes...My respect for Rhianna dropped a bit when I heard that she was headed back to more of the same...so many struggle so hard to get out of that situation...while many will pass on simply for the sake of not having to be alone. Oh dear...I have started to write a book...my apologies, but you have presented a very engaging piece on so many levels...but I will stop at the book and do my best to skip the soap box...Loved the way you took current events, a super star, a soundtrack, a police report... and basically left my head spinning. Fantastic!

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    Replies
    1. As I said before, it was the "Replay" in the song title that hit me. Then the "Because" litany was written, and the police report section... and the #MusicPlayer commands which act sumultaneously as structure, a frame for the background music, and editorial commentary.

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  9. Wow, Samuel! This was jam packed with all kinds of vibes...and action! Think this one is ready for a new television series...Kudos, Roger ☺

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Roger, this one took a lot out of me.

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  10. Damn..... wow. This read like a police report "Subject then punched Jane Doe in the left eye with his right hand."

    This is bone chilling ... and very well done.

    Disturbing...

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    Replies
    1. It is, in fact, based on a real police report, with key details changed to generalize the participants and to fit the narrative.

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  11. Disturbing, rattling, brilliant

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  12. Powerful and chilling nicely penned.

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  13. Sorry to use the language- but holy F**k. Is this based on real events? Either way- I can imagine it happening - the way you told it was so honest- almost forensic- like it was a police report or a doctors report- this made it so real and so disturbing. I loved the interjection if the music- this perfectly framed the scene. For me ths whole piece shows how pathetic we can be as humans- how such a small thing can act as a trigger point for actions so mindless- so violent. This is the world we live in. You photographed it with words.

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  14. I'm at a loss for words. I would have to echo Stu's comment above to include the exclamation. Wow...

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  15. Yes, I remember reading the report this is based on, and being utterly shocked and bemused. Kudos for your treatment of it.

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  16. This is great,Sam! A good respite from the usual.Based on an actual police report is extraordinary.And you made a great presentation of it!

    Hank

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  17. heck sam...what a fantastic write...kudos for how you approached such a tough topic...bravo

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  18. I am absolutely in awe of this piece. It deserves a stage!

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  19. I have to agree with Lydia. It certainly deserves more exposure. Fantastic piece.

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  20. Yikes. Terrible situation. Wonderful piece. K.

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  21. Beautiful piece, enjoyed it :)

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  22. powerfully penned

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  23. Interesting use of the lyrics, and effective employment of repetition and other aural device. Think the transition line-to-line would be smoother if you dropped the caps, but a finely-wrought urn (a la Donne)

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  24. Sam there is a powerful statement in these lyrics - a love song gone wrong

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  25. that's nasty and graphic story...love song gone wrong is an interesting way to describe this

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