The night evaporates around me,
a white, bipolar flame. I waken into dreaming,
into a lithium ocean that engulfs and drowns me.
The night evaporates around me,
a stuttering of stars that taunt, confound me,
until this fragile sphere has lost all meaning.
The night evaporates around me,
a white, bipolar flame. I waken into dreaming.
Short link - http://bit.ly/s4Li003
ReplyDeletenice...great link too in the lithium and bipolar...and the fragile sphere that lost its meaning....well done sam
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kindness!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is a triolet, comprising eight lines (classically in tetrameter, but free in the modern sense). The rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB. The first, fourth and seventh lines are identical, as are the second and final lines. Thus the initial and final couplets are identical.
The form stems from medieval French poetry, and is similar to the rondeau, also a form emphasizing repetition and rhyme.
Great poem. The technical explanation of the form impresses me even more.
ReplyDeleteI like the unusual spacing you have used in your triolet - it removes the focus from the repetition somehow, and makes that one line seem more like a thought which circles back again.
ReplyDeleteGreat work.
I agree that the form is very effective here. Well done!
ReplyDeletevery effective insight
ReplyDeleteprivate dreamliner
I agree, the play on lithium and bipolar is very cool and the form even cooler. I like the relaxed tone...also played into the lithium. Great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece...I too like the link between lithium and bipolar...The night evaporates around me, a white, bipolar flame. I waken into dreaming....love this line
ReplyDeleteYou did wonders with this form...very nice ~
ReplyDeleteI have come across you through Toads and have been browsing through your work. You are very gifted. Nice to see a Canadian poet being recognized:) So good to have met you......will keep reading.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the kindness! Very much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteAs a "victim" of Lithium treatment for my manic depression (or bipolar disorder), I can truly say you speak the truth. Night and day; dreams and reality, inseparable. Like cement in one's veins. This was beautiful, even as it brought up bad memories of my Lithium days... care to discuss? Email me, Sam. sharplittlepencil (at) gmail (dot) com Peace, Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/the-ward-and-me-sunday-whirl/
truly evocative of that link; lithium and bipolar disorder - with Amy, I concur, you speak the truth ... and so wonderfully well with fine use of the form
ReplyDeletefragile sphere...the cranial orb perhaps ?....when the temporal lobe controls my being, I...well...adjustments must be made
ReplyDeleteglad to meet you and thanks for the Jack
Peace ☮
"The night evaporates around me" is such an intriguing line, perfect for the form. Excellent work.
ReplyDeleteGreat triolet! "I waken into dreaming." What a perfect description, so haunting. This poem reminds me of a fellow blogger at www.brokenbelievers.com who has bipolar. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteGreat triolet! "I waken into dreaming." What a perfect description, so haunting. This poem reminds me of a fellow blogger at www.brokenbelievers.com who has bipolar. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the dVerse exercise, but treated it - perhaps - too lightly. You have shown me the way it SHOULD have been done. Thanks for your visit.
ReplyDeleteYou already know I loved your triolet and tried your three-stanza effect in my own attempt. Many thanks for a wonderful exercise and for your comments. :)
ReplyDeleteThe evaporating night and the stuttering of stars is a beautiful and powerful image..nice flow..well done.
ReplyDeleteI love your triolet...your description so powerful, yet subtle..it reminded me of some long, dark nights...
ReplyDeleteI will echo what others have already said, your form and content work very well together. This is a haunting triolet. My favorite phrase is 'I waken into dreaming.'
ReplyDeletea mystery to this piece...
ReplyDeleteah, one of my favorite forms to write. never been on lithium...sounds like that is a good thing. enjoyed reading this, thank you.
ReplyDeletesmooth and vaporous.
ReplyDeleteI love this, Samuel. Especially The night evaporates around me, a white, bipolar flame.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would like to thank you for coming over and commenting at my place!
ReplyDeleteNext I very much like your Poems: the two of us, Boron and, Lithium...Boron the best of the three.
Please feel free to come over to my place again. I welcome writers and poets, also very much like to find talented ones that will interact...not necessarily socially but creatively.
Wander