Moon, River


Vastness of sky;
Far river, vastness, sky;
Fragile the evening mist across the sky,
Across this fading sky.

Pale moon and stars;
Wide river, moon and stars;
Fragile the night, of shattered glass the stars.
Promises, lies.

Rain, bitter wind;
Cold river, bitter wind;
Fragile the cloud that scatters with the wind
Across the fading sky.

Your hand in mine;
Moon, river, your hand, mine;
Fragile the binding around your heart and mine.
Promises, lies.

Time and regrets;
Slow river, time, regrets;
Fragile the light that flares its last regrets
Across the fading sky.

Pale moon and stars;
Dark river, moon and stars;
Fragile the night, of shattered glass the stars.
Promises, lies.


17 comments:

  1. Of his poem 'Counting the Beats', Robert Graves noted in the foreword to his 1966 volume of collected work: "My main theme was always the practical impossibility, transcended only by a belief in miracle, of absolute love continuing between man and woman."

    'Moon, River' mirrors the structure of Graves' poem - with a few additional elements - but its theme is a little different.

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  2. I didn't know Graves had said that; exactly what his poem and yours do. Strange that we both chose the touching hands as a motif. "of shattered glass the stars" is staggeringly, enviably (!) perfection of line. You captured Graves sudden beauty, beating hope, and made Moon River more beautiful than ever it had been.

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  3. Thank you so much, Graves' structure and theme made writing this poem flow easily, a joy.

    Short link - http://bit.ly/s4moonriver

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  4. enjoyed it,

    I can connect to your thoughts.
    awesome magpie.

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  5. wonderful write...I love the fact that you had studied Graves work...I really loved this poem. It rolls around the mouth and the rhythm is almost a song.

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  6. This reads so beautifully with the repetition of words and phrases. Very effective.

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  7. repetition works beautifully here
    and it becomes haunting

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  8. i agree with some others that the words repeated,the rhythm,chants are awesome..brilliant magpie..x

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  9. This is gorgeous. It flows like the river.

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  10. i guess everything in life and relationships is fragile

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  11. Nice poetry form and the repetitive verses worked very well here ~

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  12. nicely written! I love it!

    JJRod'z

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  13. Beautifully done. You had me at the title, but I loved the whole thing, the way it moved, the way it moved me.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  14. Beautiful... I love the form.

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  15. dude...shattered glass the stars...is an excellent line...love the repitition in this of end words...very well played sam...

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  16. Nice. Very pretty! I agree with Laurie. Love the form

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