The First Deadly Sin


Here is how it works: The foreskin retracts,
protuberant incisors declinate
a subtle ivory, viperine fangs.

Pressed to your incandescent curve of skin,
I pierce your flesh. You gasp, feel it quicken
in you, repulsion and desire. But no,

Not yet the sweet inhalation of your
frail innocence, not yet the blood rush. First
into you my venom I ejaculate:

A luciferian delirium sings in
your veins, a paralytic lullaby
of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:

Until all struggles cease, until you yield
into my hands your soul. And then I drink.


82 comments:

  1. This poem, the first in a planned cycle on vampires, is for Ellen Hopkins, who said I should write one. And therefore cursed me with nine nights of terrifying dreams. Thanks for the encouragement - and here it is. If I don't find the courage to get to the other tales, at least I finished this one.

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  2. Thanks also to Courtney Ray, who separately challenged me to write a poem about any one deadly sin. That it turned out to be about a vampire, well that's entirely my fault.

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  3. ah but you did use a deadly sin. Lust.. it's in all of us.. and is shown greatly in vampires :)

    It's great that you connected the two

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  4. That's the first deadly sin, yes. Just imagine what my vampires will do with the second deadly sin.

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  5. You managed to bring the harsh rush of blood lust to a boil with this one, and somehow with those words, "peace" and "trust", the climax became human.

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  6. Anonymous7:32:00 AM

    I love this so much -it really penetrates directly into your heart ..Love it -Love it !!
    Blessings Tania

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  7. The images are accurate recalls for me for, as you know, life gives us these flashes of identity with the myths ~Dr Jackal & Mr Hyde are also strong flashes.

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  8. I'm not a big fan of vampire literature, but this is phenomenal. I love the image that "paralytic lullaby" conveys. Very nicely done, sir.

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  9. What is wild is I never would of thought of a vampire as an arch angel of sorts; though, I most definitely could see a vampire thinking such an idea.... really brilliant! you capture a mysticism that I think vampires have or desire to have beyond just living eternally. Really wonderful.

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  10. In Biblical lore, Lucifer - who I refer to in the poem - was the most beautiful and favoured of the archangels, before he challenged God and fell from grace. I'm glad you caught that bit of subtext.

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  11. like Courtney's comment! Here's a challenge...do the other 6 sins --- each from a different being's point of view. I don't know - maybe not such a great idea. How many different kinds of "beings" are there?

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  12. As I said above, I'm already working on a vampire cycle based on all the seven deadly sins. It may take a while to get it right, but that's the plan. This poem is the first.

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  13. Edgar Allen Poe is still in the room, and I'm glad! Darkness is often wrongly linked to evil, but it's a the part of us that can tap into our human natures with honesty. I love your poetry, and am enjoying this new element.

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  14. Bram Stoker, M. Night Shyamalan, and now Edgar Allan Poe! I am honoured. Yes, exploring the darker side has always been a part of my work, but now I'm testing the boundaries, and what we find can say a lot about human nature.

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  15. I'm honored--and horrified--that I gave you bad dreams. Perhaps, however, they were worth it. Amazing.

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  16. I can't get over how incredibly good that opening line is. Jaw-dropping. I'm kicked awake to store mind-fuel for nightmares. ;)

    Cheers.

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  17. 'paralytic lullaby' gorgeous word pairing in a poem full of delectable diction, I am in love with your use of language.

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  18. Looks like you anticipated the prompt three years early :P

    Interesting that you did it in sonnet form and take the role of the vampire in the first person voice. Definitely some double meanings in the wordplay, "foreskin retracts," "venom I ejaculate." I like this line, "of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:," and its internal rhyme.

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    1. Once I'd finished the cycle - it took me months - it became difficult for me to re-visit the theme. In writing the cycle, I'd created a new framework for vampires; and it had become emotionally draining. I feel that the cycle is my one definitive work on the subject.

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  19. Sam, loved the voice in this, even though it scared the hell out of me. First lines, "forskin retracts," and ejaculation, interesting way of presenting the method of the vampire. Steamy, scary stuff, and I applaud you! Bloodthirstingly yours, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/04/28/red-roses-dverse/

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  20. Sam, this is unbelievable. Completely amazing. I just love the language. How many cool lines can one fit into a poem, wow. I could easily highlight just about every line in here, but the opening, is just wow.
    Here is how it works: The foreskin retracts,
    protuberant incisors declinate
    a subtle ivory, viperine fangs.

    Pretty much a perfect job here. Thanks

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  21. oh heck...you know...i fought the lust, the desire, tried to resist this lullaby because we all knew how it would end...but then...it was worth every second...ha...great write sam...hot...sensual...seductive..great use of language..what can i say...think i need another shower...smiles

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  22. Not thought it could be this. Am more used to a vampire with fangs, blood dripping and with curdling sounds. It would be dressed in black with matching cloaks with powdered face and red lips!

    Phew, it certainly looked like a sex depraved apparition. Clever twist here Sem!

    Hank

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  23. There's a beautiful juxtaposition of refined language with mundane human emotions, like lust. A very evocative poem that delves deep into vampires' backstory. Many thanks, I really enjoyed this piece. Especially on such a wet morning here in Blighty.

    Greetings from London.

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  24. Wow! Seriously sensuous! Or should I (can I?) say 'Bloody sensuous'?

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  25. I am so glad there isn't an army of vampires around. Man wouldn't be around for very long, would we? LOL
    Fabulous imagery, sensual, yet fear in there too.
    Nice writing Samuel.

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    1. You should read "The Passage", by Justin Cronin. Vampire hordes, as penned by writer who has won the PEN/Hemingway Award and the Stephen Crane Prize.

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  26. I give up! I mean I really give up. You tell me that this is possible and I am convinced it is the way to go:

    A luciferian delirium sings in
    your veins, a paralytic lullaby
    of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:


    Outstanding, Samuel.

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  27. a paralytic lullaby...nice sexuallization as well, all the way through as i def see much eroticism in vampire lore...and you play that up well...and all encompassing too in...of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust...cant wait to read the rest...

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  28. Oh, my... this is such sweet seduction... love the POV.

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  29. I like the piece by piece capture or rapture...intense writing ~

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  30. Sam, I think you have covered the seriously primary issues of vampirism and sex. Brilliant write, and restrained, elegant word usage.

    I, too, find it hard to revisit this theme. Something so dark but we have to have the dark to appreciate the light, neh?

    Lady Nyo

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  31. Very clever, Sam, and elegant. K.

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  32. A very well constructed and presented poem. I actually felt a lil sad for the victim. Def dark and scary. Glad I read it in the morning. The voice was spot on.

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  33. An elegantly written piece that evokes such primal emotions...masterfully done indeed!

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  34. Love the elegant detachedness of this. Perfect for its voice.

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  35. I love you choice of words. They creep into the senses and pulse with suspense and fear. This is fantastic. You are such a talented writer.

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  36. That last stanza is devastating, and the lead up to it is horrifying--all told, a genuine and reverberant voicing of the myth that haunts us in this well-mined archetype. Your work is always so quietly powerful, Sam--never more so than in the genuine fear this one evokes.

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  37. Innocence lost or sin relished. I feel both in this...I agree I feel a detachment. I suppose what will be will be whether a vampire relates it with relish or not.

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  38. This is how it's done. Excellent close-up view of the bite. The closeness to how the snake bites makes the knowledge conveyed that much more deadly. As humans, of course, knowing how or where the lust occurs makes itbthat much more attractive. The brain, it's said, is the largest sex organ - tempt it and succeed and you are half-way home, so to speak. Very subtle Sam, as always, psychologically perceptive.

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  39. Clinical and - yes, I'm with Hedgewitch - devastating. If this isn't great art, it's well on the way to being.

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  40. Well done! You have written evil, pure and self-serving. Very creepy!

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  41. Sam, a poem as it should be written! Bravo, and yet another bravo!

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  42. "a paralytic lullaby
    of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:" ..."of trust"...what else could she do but surrender into trust at that point. well written and deeply creepy!

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  43. Now that is a poetic opening! You don't waste time, do you? :)

    I love your weaving of stories, the levels of penetration: sexual, vampire, sin, death. I could even see this as a rape scenario in which the victim is his toy and he is prolonging the inevitable a bit. The matter-of-fact tone of voice is very effective; the soon-to-be-bitten has no choice but to yield---this is clearly the process, and there's no deviation. His voice does not waver; there is no doubt, no room for negotiation or maneuver of escape. He is clearly in command. These are my favorites:

    "protuberant incisors declinate
    a subtle ivory, viperine fangs"

    "not yet the blood rush. First
    into you my venom I ejaculate"

    "luciferian delirium"

    "And then I drink"

    This is one of the best poems I've read in a while. I'd like to read the rest of the series.

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  44. yikes! thanks for the nightmares tonight (smiles)

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  45. Sensually written, yes. Pure, seductive evil. Spine tingling and riveting. I can't wait to see the others.

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  46. Fantastic writing. You do a vampire so well! I'm a little freaked out:)

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  47. hey man, already hit it, but does mean i dont appreciate it a second go round...still a great use of words and tone...rock on sam

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  48. like this bit a lot:

    A luciferian delirium sings in
    your veins, a paralytic lullaby
    of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:

    I was thinking more 'serpent in the Garden' until I read your notes. Works well for the Vampire too.

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  49. Sam, this is eroticism and terror in one fell swoop. I wrote a vampire poem to a prompt, so I thought that's where you started. The fact that you were simply challenged by a friend? Fiendishly delicious. And yeah, vampires freak me out, too. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/01/garden-of-weeds-for-poetic-bloomings/

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  50. So many comments, so little left to say. Your skill and artistry is evident in every piece you write. Your carefulness with every word is evident, your exploration complete to the end. There's never a fake orgasm reading your work. It is always consummated. Excellent as always (and not a favorite topic of mine).

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  51. Good god man I thought you were talking about snakes at first....so glad it was only vampires!!!!! This was extremely visceral, detailed to the point of no return with some description that doubles as sexual innuendo ( at least to dirty minds like my own), and why not, thats what vampires are all about, No? Great stuff.

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  52. Wow. There's steam rising off this one!

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  53. I came back for a reread and stand by my original statement, which really applies to all your work. Also, I've been meaning to tell you I am enjoying your book.

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  54. I guess that's the appeal of Vampire love!

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  55. The darkness and danger in a sensual /sexual form ripe and full

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  56. lol I have to smile and yes laugh at your fabulous inventing of this poetic sensual sexual bite You give to temptation the lure that darkness evil has had in humankind a taste for ..without tempting to pull out the intestines for visual effects of gore. In a beez word Love this :)

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  57. Very well written...but too creepy a topic for this sensitive shy violet:)

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  58. It's almost quite violent this one,layered with a double meaning I feel. Especially in the stealing of innocence, it certainly makes me feel uneasy, paralytic lullaby says all!

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  59. Very skillful piece of writing.

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  60. The wording is beautiful and dark at the same time. Definitely perfect.

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  61. Beautiful poem. I love it. I make the poetry site book-marked.

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  62. A masterful write coming from one of Canada's finest poets. The syntax and diction are stunning. It is obvious every word is carefully chosen and placed. The construction of the narrative is straight foreward; yet, cleverly masked in imagery that heightens imagination.

    This is a fresh piece of poetic mastery, posited in a context that's growing in exposition today. Lovers of good poetry must appreciate this masterful write from this extraordinary poet. Bravo Mr. Peralta, bravo!!

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  63. Powerful poetry. A poem to remember. Thanks for sharing!

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  64. Hi, sorry for the delayed response - just having to get food on the table! Nice to see the clever use of a love form to convey the sensuality of a vampire's 'kiss'.

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  65. This is clever work! I really enjoyed :) lI was engaged from A to B and afterwards, well..I am still left reeling! lol Awesome!

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  66. Thanks for all the kind comments!

    The ebook, containing the entire vampire narrative, in fifteen sonnets and a prelude, can be found at this link - "Sonata Vampirica" - for Amazon Kindle, and Kindle for iOS and Android (you'll need the free Kindle app from the App Store or Google/Android Play Store).

    If you purchase the ebook, and like it, please leave a comment on the Amazon page! Thank you!

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  67. visceral & shivery. love that you leave the ending to the reader's imagination.

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  68. damn....remember this one...still gives me a bit of a shiver...the mix of vampirism and erotica...i think too there is a certain innocence stolen in this...the declarative i drink at the end as well...great stuff sam

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  69. Yes, well-written and disturbing. The realm of vampires, a mixture of the beautiful and profane. An unusual combination, but effective.

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  70. this piece still fills me with awe. one of those that just get better each time one reads it. Thanks for sharing for Poetics tonight, it's a fantastic poem.

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  71. An amazing poem, great to read it again, and feel that little shiver of unease.

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  72. The word 'elegant' has already been used several times, but that is exactly what I want to say...elegantly humorous, sensual, and scary!

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  73. ha...even though i read it already...i still held me breath from first to last word...

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  74. This is an excellent analysis into the Vampire myth. It's all about seduction.

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  75. A luciferian delirium sings in
    your veins, a paralytic lullaby
    of musk, of peace, of lust, of sleep, of trust:

    Until all struggles cease, until you yield
    into my hands your soul. And then I drink.

    --- this is my favourite part when frailty became a strong innocent surrender... excellent!

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  76. I'm really over vampires, but THIS is incredibly sexy, and exquisitely penned.

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  77. Yikes...WOW, powerful.
    I was reading recently a serious piece by an energy vampire who needed to plug into another person's energy to survive and, yes, the energy transfer took place during sexual union.

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  78. This one really percolates, Sam. Vampire poetics are always great fun, and one cannot get away from the erotic overtones, and the delicious evil of the consummation, which logically draws in the biblical overtones; excellent in form & content.

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  79. oh! spooky!!! i am glad that i did not read it in the night. Slowly building up the pleasure of the infliction where the process reads more dreadful and painful than the pain itself!

    Admire your skills!

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